The Average Child

I penned the following to my son Damian during his High School years back in the mid-90s, following a poem titled Unnoticed in an Average Kind of Hell which appeared in a school newsletter he brought home.

 The Average Child - from the Father’s Perspective:

No Damian, you didn’t cause the teachers any trouble. And what a joy you were for them to teach as a result. Teachers really appreciate students who are quiet, attentive and do their work, while allowing the teacher the courtesy of letting them get on with theirs.

Yes, your grades were just OK, and isn’t that great. Would I be more concerned if you failed all the time – yes of course. But I’d still be just as proud of you as long as I knew you were trying your best.

I know you listened in class and that you were there every day. I never once in your whole school life had to worry about you being truant.

Are you an average student? Your school results would tend to indicate this.

But while you are not in the “rocket scientist” league, dare I say you show great potential to develop in your own way.

Do I, as your father, think you are average?

No way. Because I know more about the real person you are than all the teachers and your prospective employers put together.

Your teachers think you are average because your grades did cause you to fit into the “hump part of the bell” curve. If everyone else's marks had been lower, you would have been above average.

You see, it is all relative, and will not haunt you for the rest of your life.

I think you’ve known all along that you were an average student. But didn’t it take some of the pressure off once you realised that?

Instead of competing to be the best all the time, it allowed you to achieve at your own pace, without having yourself, or me, pressuring you to try harder.

There’s still lots you can do.

Life is not over at 18 just because you’re an average student.

Look at all you have achieved and the things you have done already in your short life. I’m sure given a “How to …” book and a Leatherman you could come up with anything you wanted to – even that rocket ship.

Yes you did start a stamp collection, while most boys your age were probably thinking of distractions of the opposite sex kind. You showed the same, methodical, interest and passion in your stamp collecting that you show with all things you pursue.

There’s no doubt that sometimes being average is cool. You don’t need to have the “life of the party” personality that makes you want to stand out from the crowd. Leave that to your mates who get pulled over for drink driving, or choose to take drugs because its the “in” thing. 

You may not be smart enough to see that you are something special, because it’s not you who determines that anyhow. It is up to those around you to decide.

I’m sure if I spoke to every teacher you have ever had over time, every boss and supervisor you’ve ever worked under in your part-time jobs, and every colleague you will ever work beside, they would all agree you are, indeed, a special person.

So you see son, you don’t have to spend your life "unnoticed in an average kind of hell".

All you have to do is just be who you are, people will notice, and they will like what they see – as God does.

…but the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”            1 Samuel 16:7

Ray Dousset

14Apr11